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4ce fed H22
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1,041 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
"people say some crazy things while having sex... one time I called this girl Mom!"
Randal, Clerks



while sitting in traffic today on my way to work I was thinking back to a trip I had in Taiwan and started laughing.


This girl and I were going at it, and she said something that I will never forget.

She was laying on her stomach while I was working from behind. I all the sudden got the urge to IDB, and as she didn’t speak very good English I decided not to ask her and just DO IT! then as I try to gentily force my way in to the itchy brown eye she goes into a panic and yells, "NO... DON'T... I'M NOT GHEY MAN!!!!!"

at that point, I couldn't stop laughing... I decided to abort operation IDB and go back to the pink hole.


so what's the funniest things you have heard or said?
 

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artificially sweet
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951 Posts
Hahaha, that's a funny IDB story.

I have two funny sex stories..

First, the night I got duped. Similar situation as Twiggz, I was on my stomach he was behind. I get very wet so it's like a slip and slide when he's going fast. He stopped to catch his breath, and when he went to slide it back in, it went IDB instead. My eyes went :whoa: but it didn't hurt, just a little uncomfortable, so I let it go. After he was done, we were laying around and...

Me: ummm..... did you just **** my butt?
Him: huh?? No...... or, I don't think so... :confused:
Me: yeah, I think you did just **** my butt.
Him: hmm.. oh.

I still don't know if he was playing dumb and duped me into IDB, but it's OK, I thank him for my opening my eyes (literally) to a whole new world. :laugh:

Second, the time I fell asleep. When I am sleepy there is virtually nothing that can keep me awake. The bf and I were doing our nightly missionary routine before bed.... then I remember opening my eyes with him laying on me, pissed off look on his face, feeling a wet and shriveled penis touching my thigh. I must have been out cold for at least 10 minutes, cuz I swear I didn't even know we were having sex. I looked at him annoyed (cuz he looked annoyed with me) and said "what?? :sour face: " He got even more pissed, said "youre ****ing unbelievable" and got up to take a shower.
 

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6MT RWD
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920 Posts
phayze one said:
Me: ummm..... did you just **** my butt?
Him: huh?? No...... or, I don't think so... :confused:
Me: yeah, I think you did just **** my butt.
Him: hmm.. oh.

I still don't know if he was playing dumb and duped me into IDB, but it's OK, I thank him for my opening my eyes (literally) to a whole new world. :laugh:
IByougotduped :laugh:
 

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4ce fed H22
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1,041 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
damn Mae! you fell asleep?! hahaha I wouldn't have gotten mad like your ex did, I just would have let you wake up to a bukkake supprise!
 

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I'm white
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10,561 Posts
lol

one time my chick told me this and it was wierd

"oh baby i want your big pussay"

we stopped and couldn't stop laughing.......it was funny

and one time she just randomly did the "dead fish laying there thing" and i was like wtf mate? and she just laughed cause she imagined thats how sexually inept ppl do it
 

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4ce fed H22
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1,041 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
apocalypse said:
once my mom walked in on me and instead of shuting the door, she said "I'm waking you up for church tomorow" and then shut the door

LMFAO!!! now the real question is... did you stop to close the door? or just keep going? :laugh:


damn, that reminded me of when I was 16... me and my girl at the time were going at it for a while. after I finished I went out of my room to get a drink, it was late at night by that time.

on my way back to my room my step dad was standing outside the hall way half asleep... and said "this weekend we are geting you a new box spring.. the squeeking is keeping your mothing and I up" :bigthumb:
 

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B cuz I got it like that.
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2,835 Posts
I love young dumb blonde chicks.... I say to her while she was giving me head:
"Can I give you a facial?" and she says "You know how to do that? Is my skin that bad?"

she meant like buffers, and lotions, etc. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 

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grrrrrrr
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1,574 Posts
QWEEFzzz!!! :jape:


"Go get your belt" :eek:


The time she said "Say 'what's my name'" and I thought she said "what's my name?". So I started screamin her name until she burst out laughing uncontrollably :cry:
 

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Premium Member
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340 Posts
I <3 this thread :D

I have babbled my words on certain occassions saying things like "MY pussy and HER dick" lol

Shane
 

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artificially sweet
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951 Posts
krazyshane said:
I <3 this thread :D

I have babbled my words on certain occassions saying things like "MY pussy and HER dick" lol

Shane
Ah man, that is why I stopped saying anything other than "unf unf" or "oh baby oh baby" during sex. Sometimes the wrong genitalia is spoken and while funny, kind of a mood killer.
 

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no diggity
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1,127 Posts
I had talked to my buddy on the phone just before I was about to hit the sheets....and he knew I was going to get some sex0rs, so he said, "right in the middle, I want you to say this one is for chris" (his name).

for some reason, I did it and it's pretty funny to think back on it :laugh: luckily my girlfriend wasn't bothered :laugh:
 

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There's only one....
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2,973 Posts
DeadFish said:
I love young dumb blonde chicks.... I say to her while she was giving me head:
"Can I give you a facial?" and she says "You know how to do that? Is my skin that bad?"

she meant like buffers, and lotions, etc. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
LMAO! best one here so far...
 

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jon still has my hrt RIP
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1,199 Posts
"Ken."

My friend just taught me how to say Yes in Hebrew and I used it in bed but he thought I was calling out another guy's name.
 

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¡¡¡ǝɹǝɥ sɐʍ sdnʇuǝɯǝɔ
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The night my wife and I got married. she wanted to get out of her dress, but I had already told her that I was going to get me some of that in the dress. so we went ahead and did it and after ward I stopped and said to her, " You know, this is the first time I've ever had sex with a married woman."
 
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